A few months ago she lost her job because she looked like a hazard on the move and couldn't concentrate on anything because of her muddled head. She was lucky enough to get another job. A few days later, her husband committed suicide. She was back to work a week later. She had a new job and couldn't afford to lose it.
She cries because he ruined a good part of her life and left her with more responsibilities and a stigma on top. She is glad of the money she now saves because she doesn't have to pay for his medicines and cigs. Her son will be working in a few years. She looks forward to that day. She has taught him everything about running a house, has taught her 15 year old daughter how to cook and keep the house. She wants them to be able to carry on if she dies.
Manal: Married a guy her parents chose but was not a stranger to her. Spent a tough decade or so with him. Went through his being jobless, on the rock, went from place to place, while he followed his dreams, tolerated the tough times at her in-laws, sold her jewellery so he could follow his dreams that never came true. She couldn't get pregnant and went through the hell every childless woman in our society has to go through. All we ever saw was a man struggling through life and his wife standing by his side, smiling through it all.
A few months ago she found out he has remarried over a year ago and has a family she had no knowledge of. She filed for divorce.
Kainaat: A brave, smart young woman. Who spent her life looking after other people and making sure everyone got what they wanted, everyone was as happy as possible. Got gutted in the process. Spent a few years away from her family, making a life for herself, came back expecting things to be different and duly found herself in the same situation, this time tougher than before. She had burned her boats to come back. She decided she didn't want to take shit from any one anymore. She did what she wanted, no matter what any one feels or wants. Goes out, meet men, partied. Met a guy who swept her off her feet, loved the way she was, appreciated the courage she had, the way she sang, smoked and drank. Proposed. Got accepted. Didn't want anything to do with the harlot she was. Realized just hours in to the newly accepted and approved by parents relationship that he had too much ghairat. Told her he couldn't go ahead with it because he couldn't stomach a woman like her. She broke down, begged, promised to change. He was adamant they were better off on their own. She left her friends, still haven't the guts to tell her family he refuses to marry her. Now, she only acts like a harlot with him. Goes, out, drinks, stays away nights, lies to her friends and family. He still doesn't think they should marry but he enjoys her company.
Sundus: Got a good education. Always wanted
to be a good daughter to her parents. Fell in love with her best friend, a few
months before he was getting married. Didn’t do anything as it would hurt two
families. He professed he had always loved her but never said anything because of
religious differences that the families would never reconcile over. He got
married, she got a job. A few months later she married the guy her parents
selected for her. He was educated, working abroad, belonged to a decent family.
6 years into the marriage, she found herself living abroad in a basement flat with
two children and a husband who couldn’t keep a steady job, had no shame fighting
over the children’s support money , and
was violently aggressive when asked to change or make things better. Her in
parents in law were long dead, her husband’s siblings all on their own and
wanting nothing to do for their brother who couldn’t much do for himself or his
wife, who didn’t come up to their expectations.
One day he decided to send her back to her
parents’ place back home, saying he needs to find a job in another city and she
can come back in 6 months or so when he is settled. Simply meaning he won’t
have to support her for these months. She sought help from a councilor, who
promised help if and when she needed. She filled up a form, left it with the councilor, to be submitted and used in time of need, if he tried something
fishy behind her back. She packed up her house, put her things in storage and
moved back to her parents’ home.
She decided enough was enough but still
didn’t have the guts to leave him. Useless as he was, he provided a facade of
stability and respect in a society where a single woman’s existence is no easy
task. Plus she didn’t want her parents to end up with additional material and
emotional burdens when they were old and retired. Still, with her mind in
turmoil, she used her time away from him, doing courses and gearing up for a
life without him, if nothing else works.
Five months away from her husband, he still
has no job, threatened not to pay the storage bill because he can’t afford it.
He wanted to sell the things. She couldn’t let him do that. That stuff was her homestead
she had put together piece by piece over the years and all she and her daughters
had. She called the storage, stalled the storage company, rented a place for
her stuff, got people she knew there to move her things. She is now sitting on
her behind, wanting to quit, wondering what will happen to her children and how
she will face the world and life on her own. She knows she can do it, but only because
she has no choice. She is due to go back in a few weeks. Whether she’ll have
the guts to go her own way or slip back into hr miserable existence only time
will tell.
