These are the women I know:

Rubab: She had been living with her psychologically un fit husband for the last 15 years. She worked while he stayed at home, as he was unable to work. She used all their savings and got loans to build a house, rent two portions of it and lived i one. She got a job. When her children were younger and at home, she lived in fear that he would one day act upon his threats and kill the children. She spent a good part of her salary for his medicines and paying off her debts. She let go of her self and over the years, and a beautiful and smart woman turned in to an over weight, unkempt woman who couldn't be bothered about her looks, worked like a horse, fended of unwanted advances, dealt with relatives, ignored her natural urges, suppressed her feelings, ignored her wishes, took about half a dozen sleeping pills daily and spent her life in a daze.

A few months ago she lost her job because she looked like a hazard on the move and couldn't concentrate on anything because of her muddled head. She was lucky enough to get another job. A few days later, her husband committed suicide. She was back to work a week later. She had a new job and couldn't afford to lose it.

She cries because he ruined a good part of her life and left her with more responsibilities and a stigma on top. She is glad of the money she now saves because she doesn't have to pay for his medicines and cigs. Her son will be working in a few years. She looks forward to that day. She has taught him everything about running a house, has taught her 15 year old daughter how to cook and keep the house. She wants them to be able to carry on if she dies.

Manal: Married a guy her parents chose but was not a stranger to her. Spent a tough decade or so with him. Went through his being jobless, on the rock, went from place to place, while he followed his dreams, tolerated the tough times at her in-laws, sold her jewellery so he could follow his dreams that never came true. She couldn't get pregnant and went through the hell every childless woman in our society has to go through. All we ever saw was a man struggling through life and his wife standing by his side, smiling through it all.

A few months ago she found out he has remarried over a year ago and has a family she had no knowledge of. She filed for divorce.

Kainaat: A brave, smart young woman. Who spent her life looking after other people and making sure everyone got what they wanted, everyone was as happy as possible. Got gutted in the process. Spent a few years away from her family, making a life for herself, came back expecting things to be different and duly found herself in the same situation, this time tougher than before. She had burned her boats to come back. She decided she didn't want to take shit from any one anymore. She did what she wanted, no matter what any one feels or wants. Goes out, meet men, partied. Met a guy who swept her off her feet, loved the way she was, appreciated the courage she had, the way she sang, smoked and drank. Proposed. Got accepted. Didn't want anything to do with the harlot she was. Realized just hours in to the newly accepted and approved by parents relationship that he had too much ghairat. Told her he couldn't go ahead with it because he couldn't stomach a woman like her. She broke down, begged, promised to change. He was adamant they were better off on their own. She left her friends, still haven't the guts to tell her family he refuses to marry her. Now, she only acts like a harlot with him. Goes, out, drinks, stays away nights, lies to her friends and family. He still doesn't think they should marry but he enjoys her company.

Sundus: Got a good education. Always wanted to be a good daughter to her parents. Fell in love with her best friend, a few months before he was getting married. Didn’t do anything as it would hurt two families. He professed he had always loved her but never said anything because of religious differences that the families would never reconcile over. He got married, she got a job. A few months later she married the guy her parents selected for her. He was educated, working abroad, belonged to a decent family. 6 years into the marriage, she found herself living abroad in a basement flat with two children and a husband who couldn’t keep a steady job, had no shame fighting over the children’s support money ,  and was violently aggressive when asked to change or make things better. Her in parents in law were long dead, her husband’s siblings all on their own and wanting nothing to do for their brother who couldn’t much do for himself or his wife, who didn’t come up to their expectations.  

One day he decided to send her back to her parents’ place back home, saying he needs to find a job in another city and she can come back in 6 months or so when he is settled. Simply meaning he won’t have to support her for these months. She sought help from a councilor, who promised help if and when she needed. She filled up a form, left it with the councilor, to be submitted and used in time of need, if he tried something fishy behind her back. She packed up her house, put her things in storage and moved back to her parents’ home.

She decided enough was enough but still didn’t have the guts to leave him. Useless as he was, he provided a facade of stability and respect in a society where a single woman’s existence is no easy task. Plus she didn’t want her parents to end up with additional material and emotional burdens when they were old and retired. Still, with her mind in turmoil, she used her time away from him, doing courses and gearing up for a life without him, if nothing else works.

Five months away from her husband, he still has no job, threatened not to pay the storage bill because he can’t afford it. He wanted to sell the things. She couldn’t let him do that. That stuff was her homestead she had put together piece by piece over the years and all she and her daughters had. She called the storage, stalled the storage company, rented a place for her stuff, got people she knew there to move her things. She is now sitting on her behind, wanting to quit, wondering what will happen to her children and how she will face the world and life on her own. She knows she can do it, but only because she has no choice. She is due to go back in a few weeks. Whether she’ll have the guts to go her own way or slip back into hr miserable existence only time will tell.

Women Like Me

Painting by Steve Hanks

I wish I could say, I am one of a kind 'nice' woman. I can't. I am better than a lot of women out there and though I feel like apologizing for 'my kind' again and again, I know the time is near when I will stop. And accept who I am. I am the other woman and I always will be, whether I am ruining another woman's home or not. I will always be the 'Other Woman' I am that kind. Unapologetic-ally so.

As I wrote to a dear friend of mine, ' There are women like me. What can I say? I find my self in the middle of know-it-all housewives talking about how being the 'right kind of wife' ensures your man will never wander. How if he gets what he goes out looking for, at home, he will have no need to go elsewhere. Hogwash! I try telling them it's crap they've been taught by women of another generation, women in denial, wrapped up in the bubble wrap of righteousness! They have no right deluding another generation. 

Men will always wander. It is in their nature. They cannot help it. And when it comes to the men on our side of the planet, they are also plagued with double standards. Standards that have been embedded in them by another generation of delusional women living in denial. And not to forget every man has a huge part of that woman in him. His spirit, his DNA. They would not dare marry the kind of women that they want to spend the rest of their lives with. They marry the 'right kind of woman' get bored with her, whether they realize it or not and go out looking for what their inner self has got hem really craving for. A woman they can have as an equal, some one who has a personality of her own. Some one who can challenge them. Be there for them and not just expect them to be there. 

Then there is the kind who finds a woman like that. Get attracted, win her over, but once she becomes or is about to become their better half, they piss in their pants and start changing her in to the 'acceptable kind.' The women mostly do comply. They get married and not six months go by before the gentlemen start feeling bored and missing the woman they thought they were marrying but she is the 'acceptable wife' category now. The buggers rush out looking for a woman who would match their needs, not giving a hoot and a wonker to the one sitting at home, a man-made reincarnation of her former self. 

There is a third  kind as well. They marry the brave independent woman. They do not change her. They start a life with her and can't handle the woman that she is. They panic, feel trapped, they run.

There are others who run as well. They don't all run to the challenging women, they run to the whimpering, clingy kind as well when their ego needs a massage.

WTF! Better get used to the fact that they are born to run to the other woman. Accept it soon and get over with it. When those women don't believe me and give me the 'poor her' looks, what I itch to tell them, but don't, the words that I swallow are, 'You better believe me missus, I know what I am talking about and I know what you have been taught is nothing but delusional crap! I know because when they leave your kind at home, poring over the children's homework and the next day's menu, they come to my kind!'

Lyari Operation and the Dhak-Dhak Factor!

It's been ages since the Lyari Operation in Karachi but so has it been since I wrote here. I want to still write about it because the Dhak Dhak effect still remains for me and I have been dying to share it. 

 Now, mind you, this happened over a month ago and also mind that it was carried out by our police and para military forces.  Now, para military forces and their might I have no doubt in (even though the rangers posted in Karachi seriously test my trust), but come on guys, we know our police right? 

Look at this picture and tell me if this is what you envision when you think of our police.

No it's not! THIS IS OUR POLICE: 

AND THIS IS WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE IN ACTION:

If this is our police, who are the dare devils up there? Characters from some action movie? Desperadoes taking over local police's bodies?


And imagine an area where there has been fighting going on between the bad guys and the god guys, and I'm talking machine guns, grenades and rocket launchers here. What would the local residents be going through? Imagine your selves in their position?


These kids must think there's a volley ball match going on rather than  a volley of fire and death. Itmenan check karain... 

And this guy is apparently thinking...Let them play their boy games, I better secure my bike. It is more in danger of getting stolen than I in danger of becoming a target of a stray bullet: 

I mean what is going on here?

Hell, who cares what is going on here. Aren't you wondering why I have been following this operation so seriously and diligently?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IljBvlxVe0&sns=em

Watch this video and the guy at 0:11 onwards. No need to see the entire video and plz ignore the stupid ass reporter. He is obnoxious! Anyway, the gentleman in action (the real one, not the nit wit reporter-but I do hope he is no gentleman, if you know what I mean!) got my attention and grabbed my fancy (Oh yes he did. Don't ask why! He just did and sent my hormones all over the place). Ah well, back to the point, I spent a night on the proverbial thorns and woke up combing through the entire situation with a lust laden curiosity and ended up more baffled than before!

Have I lost you guys or are you still with me? Who are these people? Are they some brave macho men that we keep hidden till needed like in some spy movie? Or these buggers knew there was no real danger and played hero for the press? And of course the press being the goofball it is, snatching up the bait hook, line and sinker?

Having said that, do see some more action shots of my hero! Ah...

Oh God... he is so powerful...gasp! gasp! The only thing stopping me from calling a man-hunt for him is the suspicion that he has a posse of kids and their mother stashed some where! Ah well, such is fate!

Phew, getting back to the point...Any observations? insights? ideas? I mean, not about my hormone inducing hunk of a gorilla of a husky chunk of a.... oh God.. u get the drift right? Not him but the situation. He is here only so you know what got me so embroiled and engrossed r whatever in this situation!

Adios! Waiting to hear from you guys!